The Value and Worth of a Woman

My name is Samantha Rose Valentin. I am 27 years old. I am an Italian Jersey girl, with the attitude to go with it. I am extemely organized. My books are arranged from biggest to smallest. My clothes are organized by color and style. I like pink and I love the NY Yankees. I pretty much rock in the kitchen and I'm a health enthusiast. I can sing. I can write. I can act. I once wrote a song that was played on the radio and I hope to someday publish a book. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am me.

However, growing up, my parents never told me I was beautiful. I was never told I was valuable. I had no idea that I had anything of worth to offer this world. So, I believed the lie that many young girls believe today- that my worth was found in what I looked like and how I used my body to please guys. I spent the majority of my teen years trying to make myself look perfect and allowed myself to be used as a sexual object because I believed that that was where my value as a woman lied.

Now I honestly don’t believe that I woke up one day and said, “Looking perfect will make me beautiful and having sex will make me valuable.” I don’t think any of you have ever woken up and said that either. However, I do believe that those beliefs are so much a part of our culture, that we can’t help but have it engraphed into our brains. We can barely turn on a TV without an overwhelming sense of a woman being valued for her sexuality. Walk through any mall and you will see clothing designed specifically to entice men. Magazines telling woman all sorts of ways to be more pleasing to men surround us: And in those magazines, we are told that you must be tall, skinny, have perfect lips, perfect eyes, perfect skin, big breasts and dress in provocative clothing in order to be beautiful. The message we see? The more sexually and physically attractive a woman, the more valuable she is. A woman’s looks and sex appeal are what makes her significant and desirable.

Too many young girls, and even women, believe this lie and our actions will always reflect what we believe. I know this to be true from experience. I believed as a young girl, and even at times now struggle, with thinking that the only value I have is in sort of being cute and trying to be pleasing to a man. Because this was what I believed to be true about myself, my actions lined up with what I believed. As a teenager, my main focus was on working out, tanning, getting my hair and nails done, having the hottest outfits, and attracting any man I could. For most of my teenage years, I never thought I had anything to offer the world other than my body. I assumed I would get a job somewhere that required me to be cute and that was how I would survive. Because my identity and my value was wrapped up in how I looked and how I pleased men, my self confidence often fluctuated. If I had the attention of a man, I felt confident and secure. If I did not, I felt insecure and worthless. It wasn't until I surrendered my life to a man named Jesus that I learned where my value and worth actually lied- In Who I belonged to, and the price that Someone was willing to pay

When I surrendered my life to Jesus, I learned that I was actually a child of God; that I belonged to Him and to Him alone. Because I belonged to God, this gave me value.

When I was 15, I went to my very first concert- to see the Backstreet Boys. I had been in love with these guys for years and I was so excited to finally get to see them live. The best part- me and my friend's had seats in the 3rd row. The concert was incredible and I had the time of my life. I even got to leave with a special souvenir- Kevin's water bottle. Yup that's right. Towards the end of the concert, the guys water bottles were being tossed out to the girls- Clearly one of them had to be mine. Kevin's was tossed off the stage in my direction and I kid you not, I jumped over and knocked down at least a dozen girls to get that water bottle. I didn't care who I had to fight- that water bottle was mine. The thing is, it wasn't the water that made it valuable to me and it wasn't the plastic that held the water that made it valuable to me. It was who that water bottle belonged to that made it valuable to me. I have seen some of the most ridiculous things for sale on ebay. If I'm not mistaken, a lock of Justin Bieber's hair sold for a few thousand dollars. Who in the world spends thousands of dollars on hair?!(Seriously though- I would like to meet and slap this person) The thing is, hair is not valuable, but the person it belongs to gives it value.(For some unknown, ridiculous reason)

When you are a child of God, you are valuable because you belong to Him, Your value and worth is in the fact that you are His. He has created you exactly the way He wanted and He does not make mistakes. He did not create you to simply look good and please a man, but He created you to bring glory to Him by the way you live your life. He created you to bring Him glory by using your gifts and talents. It took me a long time to realize that there was more to me than just being sexy. Once I realized that I wasn't created to please man, I began to realize that there was so much more to me: I realized that my ability to sing wasn't just to be on stage and look sexy, but to share pieces of my life with people. I realized that I'm actually capable of speaking and writing. I learned that I have a story to tell that makes a different. I realized I have talents for cooking and teaching and I learned that there was so much more to Samantha Valentin than being cute. I learned that I had value because of Who I belonged to, That I was a child of God.

The second things I learned was that my value was found in the price that someone was willing to pay for me. Take the lock of Justin Bieber's hair- if no one was willing to pay top dollar for it, it would not be worth thousands. It has value because someone was willing to pay a price. However, had it not been Justin Bieber's hair, no one would be willing to pay that price. The two would go hand in hand. The same goes for our value and worth- We are valuable because Someone was willing to pay the ultimate price for us. That person was Jesus.

Jesus looked at our lives. He saw our sins. He saw our hurt. He saw our helplessness and He was willing to lay it all down for us. Jesus came to the earth, lived a sinless life and willingly laid down his life on the cross. This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible and I think it describes what Jesus did for us beautifully "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."- Isaiah 53:5

The way I see it, we have more value than anything on earth, because the God who created us, was also willing to die for us. Our worth lies in the blood of Jesus and Jesus was willing to pay that price because we belong to Him. It hurts my heart to see young girls and women believe that our worth lies in anything less. I am still learning this and I hope that you can learn this as well. You are beautiful and unique. You have more to offer to the world than your looks and your body. Your value does not lie in your sexuality, but it lies in Who you belong to and the price that He was willing to pay.