Friday, January 27, 2012

One, Two, Three: Is This Really For Me?

When my husband and I were going into our second year of college, we decided that we needed to buy a new car. Although the car we had probably had a few more months in her and was paid off, we felt like we were at a point where we needed an upgrade. We had enough money for a down payment on a car and decided that we were going to trade in our car and finance a newer used one. I figured that we had a little bit of money coming to us and even though my husband, Isaac, was currently unemployed, my paycheck would be enough to cover the payments. Besides, we trusted God and we KNEW that God would just provide Isaac a job soon. We made our first few car payments and everything seemed to be going fine, until the car broke down. The repairs ended up costing us $1200, which wiped out our savings account and it took about a week to fix the car. I was unable to get to work and ended up losing my job. We began missing car payments and were scrambling to find a way to pay our rent, buy food, make and make our school payments.
One morning, my husband left our apartment to go to school. Within a minute he called me and told me that our car was gone. We knew that 1 of 2 things happened. Either our car was stolen (Which was very likely in our neighborhood) or it was repossessed. I called the car dealership and sure enough, the car had been repossessed. We were at a loss of what to do. We felt hopeless. We discovered that it would cost us $500 to get our car out of repo and we did not have that money, nor could we continue to make the payments after we got our car back. My father offered to pay the $500 payment for us, but we realized that even if we got our car back, we still couldn't pay for school or rent and that we risked losing our apartment and we might have to live out of that car. We thanked my dad and asked him to instead put the money towards our school and rent, which he did. We spent the next year without a car.
My husband and I eventually found jobs that were on campus and we didn't need a car to get to work, Slowly our finances began to stabilize and although we had to borrow friend's cars to get around, we were able to have our bills paid and food on our table. It was one of the hardest years of our lives, but we had no one to blame but ourselves.

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it - lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:28-33)

Isaac and I were so determined to upgrade our car that we never really sat down and figured out if we could really afford what it would cost to get a newer car. We assumed we could afford the payments. We relied on money that was not yet there and never took into account that the car might break down. We made the mistake that many people make in their lives. We didn't count the cost.
I remember when I first started going to church and became a Christian. I was so excited to learn that there was a God that loved me and had forgiven all the craziness I had gotten myself into. I was so happy that Jesus cared about me enough that he was handling my problems. But I was also foolish enough to believe people who told me that serving God made life easy. In the beginning of my Christian walk, I made a lot of rash decisions without ever thinking about what it might cost me. I left friends behind, not realizing that someday I would miss them. I abandoned relationships, not knowing that someday I would still hurt from them. I chose Bible school, not realizing it wouldn't guarantee financial stability. I never took into consideration that following God was going to be hard and would cost me laying down a lot of my wants and desires for what God wanted. My husband and I decided to pursue going full time ministry, and never took into account that it would cost us a lot of our time, a lot of our money, and a lot of heartache and frustration. Eventually I ended up right smack in the middle of a crazy ministry and a difficult walk with God and I thought to myself, "This isn't what I signed up for" I actually felt pretty angry and overwhelmed. I was foolish enough to believe it would all be easy and when it wasn't, I began to think, "I want out." I was shocked to discover the difficulty of it all. Had I listened to and applied the verse above, I would still be in the same situation, but I wouldn't be as shocked about it.
Jesus is telling uas that we need to literally think about and consider what being a disciple is going to cost us. Its not going to be easy, but if you go in knowing that its not going to be easy, at the very least, you won't be shocked and blindsided when all hell literally breaks lose in your life. You already knew this is what it would cost and you are wiling to fight through it.
I think this is true of anything in our lives as well. Recently my husband and I decided we needed to get in shape. The first thing we did was talk about what it was going to cost us to get healthy. We would have to sacrifice food that we liked, give up fast food, wake up earlier to exercise and push ourselves in ways that are going to hurt. In the past, we have tried so many diets that failed, but I believe its because we never considered what it was going to cost us. We are going into this knowing it will be difficult and we won't be shocked when we wake up the morning after a hard work out feeling like we have just been hit by a Mack Truck. It's already expected and we are stocking up on Bengay.
Anything we do in life is going to cost us something. However, anytime we have to pay a price for something, we are going to be getting something of value in return. It's not all for nothing. When choosing to follow God, I've learned that its going to cost me everything, but in return, I gain everything. I gain eternal life. I gain the opportunity to help people and see lives changed. I gain the opportunity to be a part of something that is bigger than me.I And in dieting and exercising I am going to gain more confidence, be healthier, and lets be honest- hopefully and rocking bikini body.
Everything has a cost and everything has a reward. Life is going to be hard. The things we do and work for our going to be hard, but we are less shocked if we count the cost and anticipate it coming, Its quite possible that you may sit down, count the cost of something and determine its not for you, and that's okay too. But the idea is to know what we are getting ourselves into ahead of time, Then if we choose to go all in, we can keep up our endurance to finish and receive that reward. It really sucked that Isaac and I invested so much money into that car and in the end had nothing to show for it. Before getting into something, count the cost and make your investments worth something.

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